“Who Does Number 2 Work For?”

“That’s right buddy! You show that turd who’s boss!” – Tom Arnold in Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery

I’ve heard of and experienced some crazy bathroom behavior in my day; grunts, shouts, shuffling, tears, prayers begging for relief, dropped TP rolls, fidgeting, bouncing, farting, laughter, poetry, whistling and singing – but the sordid details of the lewdness charges Idaho Senator Larry Craig pled guilty to, has me completely befuddled in amazement. Have we truly devolved to a point that finding a mate for sex in a bathroom stall is the hallmark of a U.S. Senator?

Ewww.

Of course it seems politicians and illicit sex scandals are par for the course in Washington. I remember the Barney Frank scandal from the 80′s and how that was coddled by the media and eventually made to go away without any calls for his resignation or punishment for his improprieties. Funny how forgive and forget works in DC for perverts on the Left, but Perverts on the Right get the shaft – err, my bad…get the boot, or um SHOE – er, no nevermind. The puns forward from here go right into the toilet.

I don’t care to comment on it any further outside of this hilarious take on Seuss that required me to clean the coffee off the keyboard as I was reading it.

Truly a foot stomping gem:

Senator Craig I Am
I am not gay with a coked up page
I am not gay with the underaged
I am not gay when I tap your foot
I am not gay keep your big mouth shut
I am not gay in a bathroom stall
I am not gay, not gay at all

I am not gay with a wide, wide stance
I am not gay in my senator pants
I am not gay with a cat in a hat
Here’s my card–what do you think of that?
I am not gay in a bathroom stall
I am not gay, not gay at all

I am not gay in an Idaho paper
I am not gay please hide my caper
I am not gay in my childless marriage
I am not gay in a baby carriage
I am not gay in a bathroom stall
I am not gay, not gay at all

I am not gay with an undercover dick
I am not gay–no, not a lick
I saw some paper on the floor
I picked it up–no, nothing more
I am not gay in a bathroom stall
I am not gay, not gay at all

Let me be clear, I am not vague
I dearly love my Mrs. Craig
I am not a sad old perv
My only desire is to serve
I am not gay in a bathroom stall
I am not gay, not gay at all

About these ads

Leave a comment

Filed under Musings

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s