Rant Of The Week

A Post Iowa Caucus in-your-face celebration

This was so good, it has to be shared.  H/T and kudos to Alan Levy and the Conservative patriots at FReepers!

Thanks for making my morning jovial!

HEY RINOs AND PAULTARDS! IN YOUR FACE, DORKS!

Alan Levy

 

I must say, the 2012 Iowa Caucus was magnificent.

ABSOLUTELY magnificent.

You see, the good guys won for a change.

Mitt Commie failed and Jew hater Ron Paul was delivered a staggering defeat.

Now, before we get started, let’s get a few things clear. Number one, I don’t shill for candidates. I have my favorite candidate and you have yours. In this column, I will never tell you who to vote for. I will always tell you who I think is pond scum (like Mitt Commie, like former Obama syocphant Jon Huntsman, and last, and certainly least, Stormfront candidate Ron Paul), but I will never tell you who to vote for. (You’re an adult, I trust you’ll act accordingly.) Number two, I am fully aware that the Iowa Caucus is not that big of a deal. There’s no need to remind me of that. (If you don’t believe me, ask President Huckabee.)

The failure of Mitt Commie was mind boggling. Here was a guy with a campaign budget that was bigger than the GDP of El Salvador, who had been campaigning since John McLame’s whimpering defeat in 2008, and had a cable news station (FNC, aka the Fox Neocon Channel) in the tank for him, and has a super PAC to do his hatchet work for him…….and yet……..he barely beat Rick Santorum by 8 votes. Yep, you read that right, 8 measly votes. (It should be noted, that until very recently, Rick Santorum’s campaign was being ignored by everyone not named Mark Levin and had 68 cents and pocket lint to its name.) Even uglier for Mitt Commie was the fact that he was unable to drive a wooden stake into the heart of nemesis Newt Gingrich’s campaign. Despite being carpet bombed by Romney’s PAC operatives and Establishment hacks, Gingrich placed a respectable fourth and lived to fight another day. In other words—Mitt Commie choked.

Meanwhile, in Red Skull Ron Paul’s Fourth Reich, the Paultards are tickled Code Pinko.(Either that, or they’re stoned out of their minds yet again.) They think their Fuhrer has won a great victory over the “neocon bankster Zionist war mongers” by placing third. In actuality, this is a resounding, Stalingrad-like defeat for Herr Doktor. See, Iowa laws allow anyone to change their party affiliation at the door of any caucus and vote. So in theory, every liberaltarian, every Green, every 9/11 Truther, every Neo-Nazi, every malcontent, and every so-called “independent” in the state of Iowa could have showed up and dragged the Surrender Monkey’s carcass across the finish line. But they didn’t. Despite the “money bombs”, the “spamming”, the “trolling”, making pests of themselves on talk radio shows, and other Brownshirt-like behavior, RuPaul (H/T: Mark Levin) and his flunkies have failed and failed big time. Third place in a contest whose rules favor you is a complete and utter joke, much like saying Herr Doktor is a Conservative.

Let me repeat: No, I’m not shilling for anyone (as of yet, I’m still undecided) and yes, I know Iowa’s not that big of a deal. However, a win’s a win and I’ll take ’em any way I can get ’em. If you don’t win, you can’t keep it classy and say things like this:

HEY RINOs AND PAULTARDS! IN YOUR FACE, DORKS!